Carnage on the Farm

Ah, the idyllic life of the farm.

Unless you are a groundhog. 

We used to have a whole village of groundhogs. They popped up everywhere, particularly in fields featuring tasty crops. Then Paddy asked for a puppy. She named her Farmer. The puppy loved to play with groundhogs. Paddy buried over 30 groundhogs that summer.

The end.

Unless you are a rabbit.

We have a very friendly dog called Maulid. Maulid likes snacks.  She is a foodie.  She loves rustling in the grass, where baby rabbits seem to pop into her mouth. 

The end.

But what if you are a deer?

Maulid was rustling in the grass one day and found a tiny fawn. The fawn ran away. Maulid ran after it. It lay down and hid in the bushes.  We put a lead on Maulid, but at lunchtime, Maulid escaped and found the fawn sleeping in the woods.  We put Maulid on the lead again, and she left with longing glances backward. We called the Humane Society, who came out and couldn’t find the fawn.  Last fall, we saw a teenage deer.  It saw Maulid and leaped into the air and across the field.   Maulid thinks this is an unhappy ending but remains hopeful.

To be continued. 

Or a bird. 

We once had a dog named Eeyore. Eeyore wanted to be a hunter, but he sucked at it. Although he could run, he couldn’t catch anything that moved. Instead of hunting,  Eeyore took up running away.  We tried to stop this and would put him on a lead and take him on walks down the driveway. He hated this and hung his head low.  I think he was dreaming of being a hunter, though most likely, he was dreaming of running free.  One day, a big black bird flew straight into his mouth.  Eeyore looked up and back at me as if to say, “ See, dreams do come true.”   I yelled, “ Drop it”  Eeyore opened his mouth in shock.  The bird flew back out.   Eeyore never forgave me.

The end.

Or a beaver.

Once, a beaver came to the pond at the back and saw Guinness, our very first dog. The beaver pretended to be playing, as beavers who want to catch and drown intruders will do. It swam round and round in circles. Guinness leaped in after it but finally came out when she was called. The beaver left the farm. 

The end 

Stories about coons, weasels, squirrels and coyotes, all of whom have never been cornered have been omitted. 

To be continued.

Picture :  Idyllic life :  After illicit hunts, our animals have to come clean. Maulid in the tub.